We live in a time of increasing consciousness about personal growth and self-help. More self-help books, Oprah-inspired television shows, and inspirational blogs crop up every day. There’s no doubt that these developments help millions of people overcome challenges and grow personally, and I am thankful to be living in this day and age.
But there is a flip-side to this trend that we don’t often talk about; that when these self-help resources don’t help us enough, we feel terrible about ourselves. New clients often come to me after they’ve read a lot of books on the challenges they are facing, and feeling as if they’ve tried to work through their challenges on their own, but it wasn’t enough. In fact, they sometimes feel they even know what they have to do to improve their situation, but the knowledge just isn’t enough. They see these things work for people on Dr. Phil and read about success stories, and they feel the same things “should” work for them. By the time they come to me, they often feel defeated, worried that their situation is hopeless, and as if something is seriously wrong with them.
The truth is that no situation is hopeless and the same instinct that inspired them to read those books will reveal the answers they need if they are given the space to interact with that instinct. Knowledge and awareness are wonderful and essential. But, most often, we need more than knowledge and awareness to grow and change. This is particularly true with some of our biggest, most chronic challenges in life.
What we need in order to truly change and grow is to have learning experiences. Not just insights, but experiences. In my coaching work, I help clients put their insights into action during sessions and between sessions. This is the way to gain effective tools that you can use for the rest of your life to overcome challenges and feel fulfilled. You have to have experiences with your true self in order to be able to listen to it and live according to its wisdom.
Do you find yourself feeling angry a lot and taking it out on the people you love? Do you wonder if you are just a terrible person? You’re not. And the wisest part of you knows exactly why you are angry AND how to help you heal that anger.
Do you find yourself avoiding something difficult in your life? Or maybe you’ve been avoiding something you really want? Are you wondering if something’s wrong with you? There’s nothing wrong with you AND your true self knows why you are avoiding AND how to help you move forward.
Do you feel lost? Overwhelmed? Exhausted? Stuck? Your true self knows exactly how to remedy these situations.
The first step in changing is to believe that this is possible; that you have inside of you a wise, strong true self that can guide you through every situation. No matter what you’ve been through or how many unsuccessful attempts to change that you’ve had, your true self is inside of you, pure and wise, with all the wisdom you need.
If this seems hard to believe, don’t worry. Many people feel that this is too good to be true at first. But I KNOW from every client I’ve ever worked with (and from personal experience), that this is absolutely true. The true self always speaks and guides, even for people who don’t think it will work for them. That is how powerful the true self is!
Practice living with this idea and see what it evokes in you.
And if you are ready to live according to the wisdom of your true self, contact me.